You stood before me.
Open hearted.
You drew me in.
Crafting a place.
Mapping a space.
Solely,
or is it souly…
Just. For. Me.
You wanted me to fit so perfectly.
I stood before you,
having asked for you.
But I crafted no space,
nor made a place,
Just. For. You.
I didn’t know I needed to.
But I knew I wanted you.
Nor did I remember how.
I had simply forgotten.
How overly-riped I fell,
And well…
I loved you rotten.
I want to go at my own pace.
What if mine is too slow?
Your’s too fast?
And leaves me behind,
only to vanish without a trace.
You stood before me,
held my hands in yours truly.
You spoke with an unwavering faith in WE…
“I will love you, madly.”
“Deeply.”
“I will be your best friend.”
“Your equal.”
“Your rock.”
“The one you can truly depend.”
“I will dance with you.”
“Dine with you.”
“Confide in you.”
“Drink wine with you.”
“I will invest in you.”
“In us.”
“Please, just trust.”
I stood before you.
I heard you.
I witnessed.
watched,
but waned.
Your words, I couldn’t entertain.
So, I do what I know best.
I deny me.
How dare I think?
How dare I conceive?
It can’t be.
That I can possibly be loved this much.
Your fairytales are make believe.
How dare I…
So I don’t.
Now you stand before me.
Staring me in the face.
You see me now.
Fallen from grace.
Confronting me.
Reflecting me.
Refracting me.
Distracting me.
I discard you.
Tossed and thrown away.
I forgot to say,
— Thank You —
for trying to find a way.
I forgot to make the space
for you,
when I asked
for you.
And now that I have,
Am I right on time?
Or out of line?
Now, you’re standing with me,
and I, with you.
Together, in my mind.
Side-by-side,
our fingers intertwined.
Forever, in my heart.
I’m happy now.
Just to know.
I feel something,
that I’m able to grow.
I want to love you.
I will to love you.
I am able to love.
Be loved.
Receive love.
I am loved.
So are you.
So are we.
It’s a shame that it shall never be.
Menstrala School 